Don't Call Me a Coward: The Story of Severus Snape
by akemi42
Summary: This is a Maurauder era story chronicling the entwined pasts of Severus Snape and Lily Evans. Find out the real reason Dumbledore trusted Snape. Possible slash, sexual situations, and substance abuse in later chapters. Reviews appreciated!
1. An Owl for Lily Evans

**PART I**

**Chapter 1: An Owl for Lily Evans**

One sunny Saturday morning in June, eleven year-old Lily Evans awoke when she heard a loud crash outside the bedroom she shared with her older sister. She sat up and groggily turned her head from side to side looking for the source of the commotion. Rubbing the sleep out of her brilliant green eyes, she scanned the room furnished with two twin-sized beds, two matching oak dressers, and a pair of nightstands. There was another loud bang and something large and gray collided with the small window above her sister's empty bed. Startled but still curious, Lily threw back her patchwork quilt and dashed across the room to the bed draped in frilly pink sheets and a lacy comforter that resembled a gigantic doily. She carefully unlocked the window, pushed it open, and peered outside into the small backyard bordered by a picket fence. An unusual hooting sound drew her attention to the ledge under the window where a battered-looking gray owl lay shaking in a mangled heap. He must have flown into the window.

The door flew open and Petunia Evans barged in from the connecting bathroom the girls shared looking utterly enraged. Although she was only fifteen, she looked like a flustered old lady with her hair in curlers, white cream slathered over her entire face, and her thin body wrapped in a fluffy pink robe.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked. "Get your filthy little paws out of my bed!" She grabbed Lily by the collar of her nightshirt and yanked her backwards. Petunia quickly began smoothing the comforter, rearranging the pillows, and ignoring her sister.

Lily heard more hooting and noticed a second darker colored owl circling outside. She tied on a robe, slipped into a pair of slippers, and sped downstairs through the kitchen, and into the backyard. The air was moist and dewy, and the temperature was rather chilly for it being the middle of the summer. Standing on her tiptoes by the side of the house, she could barely see the owl's body sprawled on the ledge at least fifteen feet above her head. He was still quivering and his wing seemed to be sticking up at a very uncomfortable angle.

"Lily, what are you doing outside in your nightclothes?" called her father over the din of a noisy lawn mower he was pushing around the yard. He was a tall, lanky man with dark brown hair that was already beginning to thin.

"Daddy, I think there's a bird up there," said Lily pointing to the roof. "He flew into my window, he's hurt, and-"

"Hold on a minute." Lily's father switched off the lawnmover and turned towards the direction his daughter was pointing, squinting to keep the sun out of his eyes. He was not entirely sure that it was a bird, but he did notice a big gray heap of something on the roof between the first and second floor of the house. "Don't worry, darling. I'll go get the ladder." With that, he jogged off towards the garage.

Concerned that the creature might be seriously injured, Lily stood up on one of the plastic chairs on the Evans' small patio and strained to better observe the bird's condition. It was still shaking terribly and Lily could see that its feathered chest was moving quickly up and down in shallow, labored breaths. The bird's eyes were wide with panic. Lily looked right into them wishing she could do something to relieve its suffering. To her astonishment, as she thought this, the owl began to levitate, as if it were being carried by an invisible stretcher, and floated down to where Lily was standing on the patio chair. Lily held out her arms and something gently handed her the injured bird. She cradled the animal carefully trying not to make its injuries any worse. Just then Lily's father appeared holding a wooden ladder that was supported on the other end by Lily's mother, a beautiful woman from whom Lily had inherited her long dark, red hair and pretty almond-shaped green eyes. Both of them had just seen their daughter summon an owl to her arms with her mind.

"Lily, how did you—ouch!" Mr. Evans screamed. Mrs. Evans had dropped her end of the ladder on her husband's toe and was rushing to the patio. A towel covered in flower print, which she had brought to wrap the bird in, was draped on her shoulder. Speechless, she held it out towards Lily.

Lily bent down—standing on the chair she was slightly taller than her mother—and gently began to transfer the trembling bird from her arms to the towel, but she found that she couldn't let go of the animal. She felt a strange tinkling in her chest and a feeling of warmth spread from her arms and into her fingers. All three Evans watched in surprise as the owl immediately ceased shaking and began to glow a warm orange color. It pulled itself upright, and perched on Lily's forearm appearing to be in perfect health.

Mrs. Evans dropped the towel in surprise and Mr. Evans slowly approached his daughter and wife. "What on earth just happened?" His face was white and his hair looked even thinner than usual.

"I-I don't know," stammered Lily. "I was just thinking about how much I wanted the bird to be OK and he….he…just got better!" Lily had had a few strange things like this happen before. Two summers ago, she somehow managed to save a kitten from being run over by a car while playing in the front yard just by wishing that it would be safe. A few years before that, a bouquet of flowers Lily was particularly fond of continually regenerated itself and stayed fresh for two months before Petunia accidentally thew them out.

"Well, it's be a miracle," Mrs. Evans said cautiously as she examined the owl. "I wonder where he came from. You don't usually see owls flying around the neighborhood like this. What is this?" She picked up a fancy envelope that was tied to the owl's foot with a strand of red ribbon. She untied the yellowed envelope and saw that written in emerald green was the name of the person to which the letter was addressed: Ms. Lily Evans. Although now even more perplexed, she smiled and handed the mysterious note to her daughter.

Lily jumped off the plastic chair and anxiously opened the strange letter. Inside was a fancy piece of stationary that appeared to be some kind of parchment. Still completely in shock, Lily read the contents of the letter aloud to her parents:

_Dear Ms. Evans_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books, information, and equipment you will need for first year._

_Term will begin September 1. Please inform us as to whether you will accept your spot in the class no later than July 31. Your response may be sent via owl._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Headmaster_

Mr. and Mrs. Evans stood speechless for a few moments unsure of what to make of what had just happened. Their daughter had just received an invitation some kind of wizard school that appeared to teach magic. If she had not just mysteriously levitated and healed an injured owl, the Evans might have just assumed that the whole thing was some kind of bizarre joke. But both of them had an odd feeling that there was something more to all of this.

"Well," said Lily smartly folding up the letter and storing it safely in her robe's front pocket, "can I go then? The gray owl hooted hopefully and turned its head towards the darker owl flying overhead.


	2. Another Owl

**PART I**

**Chapter 2: Another Owl**

Three doors down the street from the Evans' in a small two story brick house, a thin woman with a long pallid face was standing at the kitchen sink in her nightgown washing the dishes from the previous night's dinner. She wasn't particularly pretty with heavy brows and a tired complexion the color of the gray dishwater in the sink. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail that limply draped her small tense shoulders. She sighed quietly, set a white dinner plate on the counter and look suspiciously from side to side to make sure she was alone. There was a glimmer in her black eyes as she reached into her nightgown pocket, pulled out something that looked like a polished twig and made a few simple swishing movements with her hand. The plates, saucers, pots, and pans all flew into the air along with the soap, sponge and dishtowel and began washing themselves.

The woman sat down at the small breakfast nook, put her feet up on a nearby chair, and had just begun to relax when she spotted something out of the corner of her eye at the kitchen window.

Checking behind her, she crept across the room and peered suspiciously through the glass at what was outside. It was exactly what she was afraid it might be. Careful not to make too much noise, she cranked open the window and beckoned the dark brown owl inside. The bird teetered around the dishes suspended in mid air and perched itself on the counter next to the coffee machine. The woman gently untied the ribbon around the bird's foot and withdrew a fancy envelope with emerald green writing on it. Her chest tightened when she saw the name written on the outside.

As she reached down to conceal the envelope in her pocket, she felt a strong hand grab her arm and spun around to see her husband's face burning with fury. The owl squawked fearfully and flew out the window. The levitating pots and pans fell into the sink splashing soap suds and water on the linoleum.

"Eileen, I thought you understood that you are not to do magic in my house," roared the man grabbing her arm even tighter. Tobias Snape was a lanky hook-nosed man with dark hair and pale, slightly bloodshot eyes. Although his wife could have him begging for mercy with a few well-placed hexes, she was terrified of him.

"I'm sorry," Eileen whimpered, "I was tired and I…please-"

"What is this?" He pried open her clenched hand and seized the crumbled envelope she was trying to hide from him.

He released his wife's arm and tore the note open. His eyes narrowed as he read the message scrawled on the parchment and for a moment, she thought the reaction might not be so severe. But she was wrong. Tobias looked at Eileen with complete and utter disgust and slapped her hard across her face. "No son of mine will be going to a bloody wizarding school," he muttered resentfully. "Have I not forbidden you from maintaining contact with these people?"

"Tobias, please, I didn't contact anyone. The owl was sent here by the school."

"No excuses! Do you want our boy to turn out to be a freak like you are? I know you have been teaching him how to…do _things_ behind my back and I won't stand for it. I will not tolerate such disrespect." Eileen was crouching behind the table and her husband was towering over her trembling with anger.

Trying not to provoke him any more, she averted his gaze and stared off behind his looming figure into the dark hallway at the staircase leading to the second floor. At first she didn't notice the small dark-haired boy sitting on the bottom step huddled in the shadows, but when she saw him, her heart sank. Eleven year-old Severus Snape was watching his parents with silent tears streaming down his face.

"What are you looking at?" Tobias hissed. "Why can you not pay attention when I am speaking to you?"

A single tear streaked Eileen's cheek which was hot and swollen from the blow it had sustained. This was not the family she imagined when she married Tobias. She thought he would offer her a simple life free of the complications of magic, but over the years he had become resentful of his wife's abilities and ashamed of his own failure to achieve his dreams. Although she spent a great deal of energy trying to pretend that things would one day get better, she knew that he was destroying not only her life, but also the life of their only child.

Her hands were shaking with fear, but gazing at the helpless form of her son, she mustered the courage to slowly reach down without Tobias seeing and procure her wand from her nightgown pocket. "Expelliarmus!" Eileen cried. She pointed the wand directly at her husband and he was blown backwards against the kitchen wall.

Eileen rushed across the room to where her son was sobbing and put her hand soothingly on his back. She snapped her fingers and a pair of suitcases flew downstairs from the bedrooms, neatly packed for a trip. With a wave of her wand, her own nightgown and her son's pajamas were instantly replaced by street clothing.

"What do you think you are doing?" screamed Tobias who was pulling himself up from the floor. He had a large gash on his head and his eyes were full of rage.

Although her heart was pounding and she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life, Eileen felt a new sense of determination.

"We are leaving," she said plainly staring right into his pale eyes. "My child deserves better than you and _I_ deserve better than you. Severus will receive a magical education and he will not have to be afraid of you any longer. Come on, Severus." With that, she grasped the boy's hand in her own and there was a loud CRACK. Mother and son disapparated leaving Tobias Snape slumped against the kitchen counter, shocked, confused, and from that moment on, alone.


	3. A Short Detour

**PART I**

**Chapter 3: A Short Detour**

Diagon Alley looked exactly how Severus had always pictured it when his mother sat in his room on nights when he couldn't sleep and told him bed time stories about the wizarding world. In fact, the shy eleven year-old who infrequently ventured outside of the house thought this must be the most fantastic place he had ever been. He found himself forgetting to blink as he observed the environment—witches weighing bags of spices at the magical produce shop, warlocks inspecting bottles of ingredients to ensure their freshness, and venders at colorful kiosks peddling magical trinkets and treats.

For the first time in his life, Severus felt as if he were part of a world to which he actually belonged. Although he had been walking most of the day and his feet were beginning to ache, he was enjoying wandering amidst the crowd imagining how different his life would be once he learned to do proper magic. Eileen had been teaching her son basic spells ever since the day he could speak, but this simple knowledge had merely wet his appetite and fueled a yearning to learn everything there was to know about magic. His desire to learn as much as possible and observe everything in sight significantly hindered the pace of his mother as she hurried down the busy street.

She and Severus had already purchased most of the items listed as necessities for first years at Hogwarts. Severus had been fitted for a full set of school robes, selected a sturdy birch wand at Ollivanders, and visited the potions emporium (which he found particularly interesting) to pick out a cauldron, scales, and a set of glass phials of varying sizes. The only thing left to buy were his school books. Following his mother closely, Severus could see Flourish and Botts straight ahead, but instead of walking towards the bookstore, Eileen made a sharp right turn down a dark dingy alley.

"Mum, where are we going?" he asked quietly. "I need my books. They're the most important thing on the list!"

Eileen took hold of her son's hand and pulled him closer. "We'll be back that way, but I need to make a short detour. Now stay right beside me and don't look anyone straight in the eye."

Severus glanced around nervously and squeezed his mother's hand tighter as a small group of men in black cloaks whisked by them giving him an uneasy feeling. He looked up at the stained brick wall and noticed a tarnished metal sign indicating their location: Knockturn Alley.

Eileen led her son in twisting paths through the dark streets full of dodgy characters and stores specializing in the Dark Arts. Severus was relieved when they finally reached their destination, a rather large, but distinctly unwelcoming shop with a dark green exterior and tall dirty windows that were nearly opaque: Borgins and Burkes.

When they entered through the front door, they immediately noticed a little old man with a thatch of gray hair covering his eyes who stood at the counter wrapping something up for a hooded patron in long dark robes with his back turned towards them. Three men stood to the robed man's right with their arms crossed looking like bodyguards of some sort.

The little man handed his customer a package shaped like a dinner plate and looked at him a hint of trepidation in his eyes.

"Thank you for keeping this for me, Caracatus," said the man with his back still turned. His voice was soft, but cold and it made Severus shiver a little.

"Of course," replied the little man glancing suspiciously at the three cronies. "I don't suppose I should hold onto the idea that you might one day return here, Tom? Now that you have everything you need?"

The patron shook his head. "I have more important things to do. I thought I might be staying in the area for a while longer," he said resentfully, "but unfortunately Dumbledore does not see the benefit of having someone with my…abilities…at Hogwarts." He started to run around. "Oh, and Caracatus, they don't call me Tom anymore—"

"I know," said the little man, his voice shaking slightly.

The robed man nodded, turned, and snapped his fingers indicating to the three others to follow him. As he strode towards the doorway, Severus could barely make out the details of the man's face which was obscured by his hood. Through the dark shadows, he noticed a long face with slit-like nostrils and sharp eyes that, for split second, seemed to emit a strange red glow. The door rattled, swung shut, and the four figures were gone.

Severus stood staring at the doorway as his mother approached the counter. Although the small, quiet boy had been very frightened by the presence of the mysterious character and his gang, undoubtedly, he had also been intrigued.

"Mr. Burke, I sent an owl last month requesting a special item for my son," Eileen said quickly. She was tapping her fingers nervously on the counter and looked as she did not want to stay very long.

The little man nodded and reached under the counter producing a rickety wooden cage covered with a black silk cloth. "Here you are, Mrs. Snape."

"It's Prince again," Eileen corrected him. She motioned for Severus to come to her side. "Now," she said looking at him very seriously with her obsidian eyes which matched his own," I want you to understand that your classes are the most important thing, Severus. I know that you have the potential to be a very powerful wizard and I don't want anything to distract you from learning as much as you can. If someone is causing you trouble and you find it difficult to concentrate on your studies, you can use this to help redirect your focus. Tell it about whatever is bothering you and that thought, no matter how painful or distracting, will be temporarily removed from your mind. Do you understand?"

Severus nodded, wondering what was inside the cage.

"And you mustn't let anyone know you have one," warned Eileen. "They are banned by the Ministry so once you have arrived at Hogwarts, find a safe place to store it. It should be fairly easy to hide as it is not very noisy."

"Yes mum," Severus said obediently. He watched anxiously as his mother removed the black covering to reveal a tiny, blue speckled bird with an orange beak. The creature sat quietly on its perch with a rather blank expression on its face. "What is it?" asked Severus.

"It's a Jobberknoll," said Mr. Burke quietly, "a strange little bird that I had to special order from America. They are shy little things and they live their entire lives in silence until the moment of their death when they let out a long scream made up of every word they have ever heard regurgitated backwards. You can tell them things and they will hold them for you until the day they die."

"Why are they banned then?" asked Severus wondering how such a harmless-looking thing could cause the Ministry of Magic any concern.

"Some wizards have come to rely too much upon the Jobberknoll and have developed a sort of addiction," explained Eileen. "Bottling up their feelings, they become a shell of a person and lose the ability to interact with others. The Jobberknoll becomes so overwhelmed that it dies any early death."

"But you needn't worry about that with this one," interjected Burke. "I have a very reliable breeder and it has never been used before. It's completely blank right now."

Eileen continued. "Feel free to use it when you need it. All you have to do is whisper to it about what is troubling you and it will bare the burden of that thought for you for the rest of its life. You must keep it a secret however. Although the feathers are legally sold for use in truth and memory potions, they are highly regulated and only certified keepers are allowed to keep the animals as pets. But, I trust you are mature enough to use one correctly, Severus."

She handed him the little cage. He peeked through the bars at the silent little creature that looked back at him with empty eyes.

"Hmmm," said Severus thoughtfully. "I think I will call him Botry."


	4. Knew It All Along

**PART I**

**Chapter 4: Knew it All Along**

After leaving Borgin and Burkes, Severus and Eileen quickly made their way back to Diagon Alley for a stop at Flourish and Blotts to buy textbooks. Eileen had a few old books from her days at Hogwarts that Severus could probably still use, but they were mostly advanced classes that he would not take until his sixth or seventh year. Severus would probably have to buy everything new for his first few years which worried Eileen a bit. Although her family vault at Gringott's still held a substantial amount of gold, she and Severus were on their own now, and they needed to make it last.

Shortly after stepping into the bustling bookstore, Severus decided that there was no place on earth that he would rather be. The high walls were covered in rich mahogany shelves filled with books of all shapes and sizes and the air smelled of leather and parchment. Witches and wizards were sitting at little candlelit tables in the corners sipping tea and skimming potential purchases. As he walked by, Severus stole quick glances at the books on their tables…a historical novel about the Salem witch trials, a biography of the warlock who invented floo powder, a romance novel about vampire hunting. Severus had always been a reader; he found it easier to escape into a fantasy world full of opportunities and imagination as opposed to living in the real world where he received frequent harassment, not only from the bullies at school, but also from his father at home. Ever since receiving his acceptance letter to Hogwarts, Severus had been fantasizing about retreating into the imaginary worlds created by wizards, which he assumed must be much more interesting than those created by Muggles.

Eileen led her son to the section of the store that specialized in textbooks and began examining the list he had received from Hogwart's and pulling various books from the shelves. Severus' eyes wandered around the towering fortress of bookcases holding all the knowledge that would help him to become a powerful wizard. He picked up a book on a nearby shelf that seemed to stick out for some reason: _Dark Wizards of the 21st Century: Tragedy and Triumph_ by Lazslo Roman. Severus started skimming through the first chapter and quickly became immersed in the book and completely out of touch with the outside world. He noticed a bothersome tapping on his right shoulder, resurfaced to turn and see a familiar face with beautiful dark red hair and brilliant green eyes right behind him.

"Severus!" cried Lily excitedly grabbing his arm. "I hoped I would see you today. Where have you been? I've missed you so much."

Severus felt butterflies writhing in his stomach. Living just three doors down from the Snapes, Lily Evans had been Severus' best and only friend in the neighborhood that has been his home until a month ago. Always genuinely friendly, Lily talked to him even though most of the other kids at school laughed at his prominent nose, shy persona, and unusual name. He missed walking home with her from school, sharing stories and dreams. He missed coming over to her house on Saturdays to have lunch with the Evans family and play board games. He missed just talking to her. He felt like she was not only the one person who took the time to consider him, but also was the only one who really understood him.

"My mum and I moved," Severus explained frankly. "We've been living in a mill town a few kilometers away. I'll give you the address and maybe you can visit."

Lily 's smile faded. "Does that mean that your parents broke up?" she asked quietly.

"It's not a big deal," Severus answered dismissively. "Mom and I will be fine on our own and well, you know my dad…" Severus trailed off nervously staring at his feet.

"Oh I'm sorry," said Lily patting his arm. He shivered a bit. "I don't want to upset you. We should be so happy right now. I mean, we always knew this would happen didn't we? Remember that night in the tent…"

As Lily reminisced, Severus' mind wandered back to one warm June night about two years ago when Lily and Severus set up a small tent in her backyard and camped out under the stars. After telling ghost stories and indulging in lots of sugary candy, Lily told Severus a story about how she thought she had made Mrs. Pickens, their math teacher, sick last week by wishing that she wouldn't have to take Friday's quiz. She also shared a strange experience about somehow managing to make one of her favorite dolls dance and do cartwheels just by thinking about it. She asked Severus if he believed in magic.

Up until this point in his life, Severus had tried very hard to keep his family secret hidden. He had always known that his mother was a witch and that there was a whole wizarding world out there somewhere, but his father made sure that he didn't get anywhere near it. Occasionally, he managed to smuggle books from his mother's trunk and read about this other world, desperately hoping that one day he would become part of it. Severus knew that every so often the child of a Muggle became a witch or a wizard and he had always felt there was something special about Lily. Why not tell her, his only friend, the secret he had never been able to share with anyone else?

So that night Severus told Lily everything he knew about his mother, the wizarding world, and how all of this might relate to her seemingly strange abilities. He told her that he had inherited his mother's gift and she had been teaching him spells since a very young age. He told her that she might have that gift too and if she did, they might be able to study together at a wizarding school.

Lily was shocked into disbelief, but she wasn't scared. She knew she had no reason not to trust Severus Snape. She could tell that he was being honest with her and she could not think of a better explanation for these strange things that kept happening to her. Additionally, she always knew there was something about Severus and this all seemed to fit somehow. What normal mother would name their son Severus anyway? Her shock quickly transformed into excitement and her vivid imagination began constructing her future as a witch.

"…and I knew from the night on," concluded Lily. "I wasn't even surprised when I got my letter, but Mom and Dad are taking a while with all of this. Oh, Severus, I am just so excited! We're going to learn so much and have so much fun!"

Severus smiled discreetly and looked into Lily's green eyes, which reminded him of shimmering emeralds. As he stood in the bustling bookstore, it seemed like time was standing still and he found himself lost in her gaze. He felt as if he was floating, his vision faded, and pictures began to materialize. He saw a classroom with Lily sitting in the front row at a worn wooden desk diligently taking notes. A dark haired boy who looked suspiciously like himself sat beside her, his oversized nose buried in the textbook in front of him. The scene faded and he saw Lily strolling through a vibrant garden, the same boy at her side. Images flashed before his eyes and he felt dizzy. He grasped the bookshelf next to him for support and looked away quickly.

"Severus, are you okay?" Lily looked at him concerned.

"Yes," he replied quickly in a bit of a haze. He was drowsy and thought it might be a nice idea to curl up and enjoy an afternoon nap. He felt a thin hand on his shoulder and turned around to see his mother at his side.

"Come along, Severus," she said nudging him forward. Eileen recognized Lily and smiled at her shyly. She knew Lily to be her son's playmate, but she rarely made her way out of the house as she was usually inside trying desperately to make Tobias happy. "We need to hurry home," She whispered to her son.

"Goodbye," Lily said happily. "I'll see you at school."

"Bye," replied Severus hesitantly. He turned and walked away.


	5. The Half Blood Prince

**PART I**

**Chapter 5: The Half Blood Prince**

Severus waited nearly two weeks before the next time he saw Lily Evans. After their encounter in Diagon Alley, he returned to the rundown industrial town that had been his home for nearly two months. Eileen had purchased a small, inconspicuous house with some Muggle money she obtained by selling some of the more conventional Prince family heirlooms to a local pawnshop.

At first, Severus hated the house on Spinner's End. He found it to be cold, scary, and empty; however, shortly after moving in, he began to appreciate how much happier his mother was without having his father lurking around spitting insults and criticizing her behavior. He noticed that she regularly used magic to perform basic household chores, and had begun filling out job applications in response to ads in the _Daily Prophet_. Eileen decorated the shabby house with furniture purchased at a resale shop and lined the walls with an obscene amount of books from the Prince family library. Every night she would read to Severus about the wizarding world until his eyelids became heavy and he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of his future at Hogwarts where he would learn to be a powerful wizard. He told himself he would learn to be strong enough to protect his mother one day as she had protected him.

In early September, Severus found Lily sitting by herself in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, a large leather-bound book spread on her lap. He thought the new scarlet robes she was wearing made her look like a particularly pretty witch. He heaved the glass door open, grinning widely, and struggled to lift his trunk onto the overhead luggage rack.

"Sev!" cried Lily. She was the only person who ever referred to him using anything other than his given name. He liked the nickname, seeing it as a special term coined just for the two of them. "Did you find your way to the platform all right?"

Severus lowered himself carefully into the seat opposite Lily. "Yes, my mum remembered how to do it from when she was in school."

"That's nice," Lily giggled. "My parents nearly fainted when they saw me run through that wall."

Severus laughed dryly, and looked at Lily expectantly. When the two of them were together, she usually directed the topic of conversation and Severus followed her train of thought loyally. Her mind took him to places he would never think to go himself.

"Have you practiced any magic over the summer?" she asked excitedly.

"Just the usual," Severus said slyly. After their first conversation about the wizarding world, Severus would frequently accompany Lily to her room where he would demonstrate the more entertaining spells his mother had taught him. Lily could even do a few simple charms already, but Severus was much more experienced even for a young wizard.

"Well, I have already read through the book you gave me," Lily said lifting the book on her lap to reveal the title: _Hogwarts: A History_. "It's so interesting, but there's so much to learn. I feel like I am going to be so behind. Everyone else has grown up knowing these things their entire life and I am just going to have to catch up. Thank goodness I know you, Sev!"

Severus blushed. "You'll be fine, Lily. None of this stuff is too difficult and you can ask me about anything."

Lily looked around the compartment as though searching for somewhere to start. "What do you know about the sorting ceremony and the four houses?"

"Well," said Severus astutely as if beginning a lecture, "my mother told me that all the first year students are sorted into one of the houses that belonged the four founders of Hogwarts. Each student wears this special hat and it assigns you to a house based on your characteristics and personality. My mum was in Gryffindor. That is Godric Gryffindor's house, and the Sorting Hat tends to put brave wizards there." Severus shifted in his seat. "I think it chose correctly for her."

"And what are the other houses?" asked Lily eagerly.

"There is Ravenclaw, a house for wizards who are exceptionally intelligent. Hufflepuff is where loyal and friendly wizards are sorted. And then there is Slytherin." Severus fiddled with the sleeves of his robes a bit. "Most dark wizards have been sorted into the house of Salazaar Slytherin."

"Dark wizards?" Lily asked looking at him inquisitively with her stunning green eyes.

"I am sure you read the chapter about the subject of Defense Against the Dark Arts in the book I gave you. The reason why we take such a course is that there are many wizards who choose to focus on particularly dark magic, like the spells listed in the Appendix."

"Really?" Lily looked shocked. "People still do those things?"

"Yes," Severus said uncomfortably turning his head to look out the window. "Even though the field has very negative reputation, the Dark Arts can be particularly useful in certain situations." Lily looked curious, and he decided it would be best to change the subject. "Would you like me to teach you a wizarding game? I brought a deck of cards for Exploding Snap."

"I'll have plenty of time to catch up on all the latest wizarding games this year. Why don't we have one last game of Muggle cards?" She reached into her newly purchased robes and procured a package of regular playing cards. "How about Gin?"

Severus nodded and Lily turned down the foldable table and began dealing. Severus had fanned out his cards and was beginning to plan his first move when the door slid open roughly revealing a tall handsome boy with long blonde hair and aristocratic facial features. Two stocky fellows stood on either side of him. The one on the right had sandy hair and a face that resembled that of a bulldog. The one on the left was slightly taller, but also appeared a bit dimwitted. Severus noticed the shiny gold prefect's badge on the blond boy's expensive-looking robes.

"Ahhh, what do we have here?" asked the blond eyeing the card game on the table. "Playing Muggle games are we? First years I assume?"

Severus nodded defensively. "Who are you?"

"I am Lucius Malfoy," the boy replied lazily. "I am a prefect and it is my duty to ensure that everyone on the train is following the rules. I see we have a problem here"

"I didn't read anything about card games being against school rules," said Lily smartly.

Lucius glared at the little girl. "There are some unwritten rules at this school that those of us who care about the future of our kind go out of our way to enforce," he snapped. "Where did you get these cards?"

"My mother and father," said Lily scowling.

"Muggle born, I see. And you?' he turned to Severus. "I assume you also come from undesirable parentage?"

Severus was fuming, but many years of bullying at school had taught him to control his temper in order to avoid unnecessary injuries. "My mother is Eileen Prince," said Severus through gritted teeth. "And my father—"

"Ahhh, Prince," interrupted Lucius, "an old and respectable wizarding family. I believe my grandfather did business with a Prince some years ago. I suggest you do a better job selecting your friends, Mr. Prince." Lucius sneered at Lily and turned to his left. "Goyle, confiscate these filthy Muggle playthings from the Mudblood."

The taller boy reached forward to scoop up the cards and no one noticed Severus reach into his robes, point his wand at the boy, and whisper an incantation. Golye dropped the cards and stumbled over in pain. The palms of his hands were bright red and beginning to blister. Lily looked shocked, but Lucius was staring at Severus with an intrigued expression.

"Perhaps we can let this one slide," Lucius concluded continuing to stare Severus down with his pale gray eyes. "What is your name, young man?"

"Severus _Snape_," he spat still clutching his wand.

"Well, Severus, I do hope to see you more of you at school this year." Lucius turned to his henchmen. "Crabbe, Goyle, lets go." Goyle looked like he wanted to beat Severus silly, but he obeyed his leader and shuffled out of the compartment with the other two, slamming the door behind him.

"Thanks," Lily said relaxing a bit. "What an idiot. I can't believe he decided to start treating you like a person just because he thinks you're from some prestigious wizarding family."

"Some people just assume things," Snape said. "He obviously thinks I am pureblood just because my mother is a Prince."

"That's funny," Lily said jokingly. "Little does he know you are actually _a half blood_ prince. Severus smiled at Lily thoughtfully, but he noticed she suddenly looked distant as if she had just realized something.

"Severus" Lily stammered. "What was that spell you used?"

"Ummmm…_Infernoate_," he answered, unable to lie to his best friend.

"Severus," Lily whispered. "That spell was in the book you gave me. It was in the Appendix…of Dark Magic."

"I know, but I had to," Severus mumbled as he turned to look out the window. It had just begun to rain. "He called you a Mudblood. I had to protect you."

Lily looked flattered, but confused. "But I thought only Dark Wizards used—"

Their conversation was interrupted by the snack trolley which had just arrived outside their compartment.

"It's not that simple," Severus said quickly. Lily assumed that there must be many things about the wizarding world that she didn't yet understand. "Come on, let me buy you a Pumpkin Pasty."

The two soon-to-be first years used all of the Galleons Severus had on him to stock up on treats according to Severus' recommendations based on his brief experiences with wizard sweets. Shortly after finishing their feast, Lily fell asleep, but Severus stayed awake and watched her sleep, resting his hea against the rain soaked window.


	6. A Choice of Sorts

**PART I**

**Chapter 6: A Choice of Sorts**

It was nighttime and still raining by the time the train arrived at Hogwarts. After Severus and Lily climbed down the steps dressed in their school robes, they met the gamekeeper, Ogg, who escorted all the first years across the lake in small wooden boats. Severus and Lily shared a boat with two twin boys who were rather quiet during the short journey. As their boat drifted closer to the magnificent castle, Severus felt his heartbeat quicken with excitement and Lily squeezed his hand. Hogwarts was an edifice full of mystery with winding passageways and twisted towers; they had so much to learn.

Severus and Lily walked into the Great Hall together. Lily was shivering and Severus offered her his thick wool traveling cloak as they stood beside the great wooden benches lining the spectacular room where the older students were waiting for the first years. Severus felt rather intimidated by all the students, gossiping and whispering about their new classmates.

"Who are all those people?" Lily asked referring to the long table at the front of the room populated by the Hogwarts staff.

"That's Albus Dumbledore," said Severus pointing to a tall wizard with a long graying beard, shimmering blue robes, and distinctive half moon spectacles. "He's the new Headmaster. When my mum was here, it was someone else, but she told me a bit about Dumbledore."

"He looks very nice," Lily remarked. "He's smiling."

Severus shrugged. "My mum says he almost became Minister of Magic, but he chose to stay at Hogwarts instead." He continued telling his friend what little he knew about their new teachers while they waited for the rest of the first years to file in. "That woman there is Professor McGonagall. She took up Dumbledore's job as Transfiguration Professor and Head of Gryffindor. I think that smaller man over there is Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw House. And Professor Kettleburn teaches Care of—"

Severus was interrupted by a small commotion near the entrance. The caretaker, Argus Filch, had just caught two first years trying to sneak in a pair of broomsticks in spite of the rule prohibiting new students from bringing such items. One boy was small with glasses, untidy black hair, and a frustrated expression. The other was unusually handsome for being eleven. He stood with his arms crossed and there was an air of rebelliousness about him.

"It's not fair," the boy with glasses argued. "I've been riding for years and that's a new Cleansweep!"

"Rules are rules, boys," Filch snapped. "Now hand over the brooms if you don't want to make trouble with the Headmaster on your first day here."

The two reluctantly turned over the contraband. Instead of taking a place at the end of the line for the Sorting Ceremony, they walked up to the front and cut in with a sandy haired boy who looked rather ill. Severus sneered. He hated it when people believed themselves to be above rules that applied to everyone else.

The whispering in the Great Hall died down as Professor McGonagall strode up to the front of the room holding a wooden stool and an old, battered-looking hat with a large slit on the side. She set the stool down in front of the teacher's table and looked proudly at the line of nervous first years.

"Let the Sorting begin!"

Severus and Lily watched as Professor McGonagall called each student in line to the front of the room, where they wore the hat, which placed them in the appropriate house. The hat usually made its decision within a few seconds, but Severus noticed that it took longer for some students. It took quite a while with the handsome broom smuggler, but in the end, it decided to place both him and his friend in Gryffindor.

"What if it can't decide where to put me?" asked Lily. Severus looked at her with a furrowed brow and she seemed to get the message and stop worrying. Lily had a tendency to become quite talkative when she was nervous. "I hope we're in the same house, Sev," she whispered.

The line slowly became shorter and shorter. Soon Lily and Severus were standing at the front. In an attempt to be an example and ease her nerves, Severus decided he would go first. As he stepped up and took his place on the stool, he heard Professor McGonagall call out his name.

"Severus Snape."

Severus felt the hat being placed on his head and he heard a strange voice in his ear.

"Hmmmmm, let's see here," said the voice. "You've certainly got brains…from a noble family…quick to learn. I sense bravery too. Gryffindor, like your mother might be right. But what's this? What is all this Dark Magic you know?"

Severus looked around the Great Hall and felt his face flush. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were staring right at him and he sensed the Sorting Hat was taking an unusually long time.

"Hmmmm," said the hat again and Severus hoped it would finish up soon. "There most certainly could be a very important role for you to play, but which path shall we go down? Shall we choose what is right or what is easy?"

_What is right, of course_ thought Severus. Nothing about his life had ever been easy.

"Oh, it won't be easy, but I _do_ think it is right," whispered the hat and Severus felt his heard pounding as it finally announced his placement. "Slytherin!"

Feeling relieved to be finished with the process, Severus slithered off the stool and joined his new house at their table. Immediately his heart started pounding again when he saw Lucius Malfoy waiting for him at the table with a smirk spread across his porcelain smooth face.

He clapped Severus on the shoulder and whispered in his ear. "Congratulations. We can use more talent like you in this house."

Severus ignored him and watched Lily take her seat on the stool. As long as they were together in the same house, it would all be OK. He didn't know what the hat had meant about things not being easy, but he knew he could make it through whatever he might face with his best friend by his side.

McGonagall placed the hat on Lily's head and she closed her eyes waiting for an answer. Severus wondered what it was saying to her, but he assumed it wasn't very much because before long, it had an answer.

"Gryffindor!"

Severus' heart sank. He watched the rest of the ceremony in complete dismay, unable to stomach the idea that he and Lily would be in separate houses. The last thing he felt like doing was having a celebratory feast and he hardly touched the mountains of delicious food that appeared when the last student was finished being Sorted.

When the Feast was over, Severus didn't even get out of his seat. One of the twins who had rode across the lake with Severus and Lily elbowed him and pointed Severus in the direction of Professor Slughorn, their Head of House. Almost mechanically, Severus began to follow his peers as they marched to the dormitories.

He felt a hand on his arm and turned around to see a familiar pair of green eyes looking at him with uncharacteristic disappointment.

"Here's your cloak back, Sev," said Lily softly.

"Thanks," Severus responded politely. He took the cloak and began to walk away, but Lily stopped him by pulling him into a hug.

"I won't forget about you," she whispered in his ear before breaking free from the embrace. Severus sadly watched her run to catch up with the rest of the Gryffindors before turning to follow the Slytherins to the dungeon.


	7. A Different Kind of Slytherin

**PART I**

**Chapter 7: A Different Kind of Slytherin**

The Slytherin Common Room was located in the depths of the Hogwarts dungeons. Although most of the other students gathered in small cliques to make the journey, no one talked to Severus. It was as if they could already sense that he didn't quite belong here.

Severus knew the history of the House of Slytherin. Most of the students sorted into this House were from pureblood families who believed in preserving the true culture of Wizards and marrying within the magical world. If anyone knew about his past, Severus would be scorned for his mother's choice to abandon her proud pureblood heritage and marry a common Muggle. At that moment, he decided that no one needed to know about this aspect of his life.

Finally, the group reached the end of the long torch lit corridor and Lucius Malfoy opened a set of heavy wooden double doors and welcomed the new Slytherins into their common room. Severus wandered over the threshold and was quickly drawn to the atmosphere of power in the room. Decorated in black and green, the sitting room was adorned with plush furniture made from sturdy fabrics and rich wood. Portraits of famous past Slytherins covered the stone walls and the whole place was subtly illuminated by candles on chandeliers which were hanging from chains on the ceiling. This was all so different from the suburban Muggle environment Severus grew up in or the quaint and simple air of Spinner's End. He felt a rush of excitement at the idea that he just might be a little bit important.

Any confidence rising within the boy quickly dissipated as he looked around the room and observed everyone taking their place on the carpet around the fire, in the squishy armchairs lining the periphery, at a long wooden table. He had no idea where he belonged. He let his eyes wander around the room and he looked at each of his fellow First Years and made a quick assessment of their potential to be friendship material. The group of girls in the corner all looked snobby and uptight. There was no way the group of boys huddling near the fire would even talk to him. Sure there were a few stragglers he could introduce himself to, but they didn't look the slightest bit interesting. Why waste his time?

Severus took a seat on a soft velvet cushion near the corner and rested his chin on his hands. He had been carrying Botry with him in a small cage covered in black cloth. He put the bird down by his side and wiggled a pair of fingers the through the wooden bars to stroke the soft feathers. He felt a tiny sharp beak nibbling at him, but the Jobbernoll didn't make a sound.

Severus thought about what Lily might be doing back in the Gryffindor Common Room. She was almost certainly being her usually cheery and warm self, making friends, forgetting about Severus. At that moment, he found himself wishing he had never received a letter from Hogwarts. He wanted to be back home in Muggle England with his familiar house, his familiar routine, and his only friend. That kind of security was worth it…even if it meant having to live with his awful father and sacrifice the ability to do magic.

Severus felt a hand on his back and looked up to see Lucius Malfoy, his long blond hair framing a face sporting an evil grin. He flinched in response to the touch and the unsettling presence of the older boy.

"Severus," he said loudly tearing the young boy away from his private thoughts. "Don't sit over there by yourself. Come meet the rising starts of the House of Slytherin." He gestured to a group of students clad in black and green behind him. "The twins are Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange. They're Fifth Years and so is Bellatrix." He pointed to a striking young woman with heavy lidded eyes, olive skin, and long dark hair. She looked down at little Severus sitting on the floor with a skeptical sneer.

Lucius put his arm around a younger girl standing by his side with long blond hair similar to his own and pale, fragile features. "And this is her younger sister, Narcissa." He grinned and pulled the girl in possessively towards him. She gave Lucius a mischevious glance, but smiled warmly at Severus.

"Our other sister, Andromeda, is a Ravenclaw," Narcissa said coolly. "I don't know what happened there." Severus had no idea how to respond.

"Then there are a few promising individuals from your own class," Lucius went on directing his attention to a group of three boys, "Evan Rosier, Ian Wilkes, and Miles Avery, all from respectable wizarding families, all worthy additions to Salazaar's noble House."

Severus looked at the three boys cowering behind Lucius' domineering presence. Wilkes was tall and gangly with messy dark blond hair and harsh features; his lazy slouching made him appear to be much shorter than he actually was. Avery was small and compact with a head of dark curls and a serious expression. Rosier seemed a little shell shocked by the whole experience of his arrival at Hogwarts. He straightened up and pushed his wire rim glasses up his nose, obviously trying to look more presentable to Lucius. While surveying the new set of friends Lucius had selected for him, Severus couldn't help thinking that none of them could compare the one true friend he knew he somehow knew he had just lost.


End file.
